Australia pulls together to create a xmas miracle

We bloody did it! We totally flamin’ saved xmas! Not even a “death cult” striking the heart of the Sydney CBD could dampen the fighting Aussie spirit, as our citizens did their duty and set a new record for xmas retail sales.

Yep, just when things were looking grim – only 0.4% retail growth in October – you flamin little rippers got off your arses and showed them all, spending $45 billion, an average of $2500 for every person over 14 in just 6 weeks! Aussie, Aussie, Aussie – spend, spend, spend!

Maybe it was big Joe Hockey’s stirring appeal to our inner greatness as a nation:

“We want Australians to go out there and spend for Christmas — don’t let Santa down, go out there and spend for Christmas”

Maybe it was ‘Operation Lightfingers‘ – the 5 day pre-Xmas blitz on shoplifting, a joint initiative of the National Retailers Association and NSW Police – that gave people the confidence to exercise their freedom to spend in safety and pursue bargains on a level playing field.

Maybe it was the impending centenary of the ANZAC slaughter at Gallipoli that inspired people to think about what those poor buggers went through and then dig deep and cough up big.

Maybe the thinking was, since the Liberals are doing their damnedest to jack up university fees, kill Medicare and destroy any hope of coping with a post-carbon world, we may as well go out and spend like there’s no tomorrow.

Whatever the hell just happened, Australia proved yet again that when it comes to consumerism we bloody punch above our weight on the world stage. Onyaz!