Hey Albo, there’s this socialist called Bernie Sanders…

So, remember when all the socialists in Marrickville got totally scared by the rough and tumble bluster in Albo’s contempt for socialists who dare to campaign for the Greens? Albo really did fire up when he said:

“It’s unfortunate that the Greens have been captured in this area and in NSW by people who have a history in the socialist party of Australia or the international socialists or the socialists workers party”

I wonder if anyone in the ALP Left – maybe one of those Labor staffers who mouthed off about the free holiday to work on the Bern’s campaign – has finally broken it to Albanese that that Bernie Sanders guy is a socialist?

I mean, surely they can’t just let him look like a fucking idiot forever right?

Maybe they felt that he’s a bit touchy about not actually being one of “the people” because he basically went straight from student politics to an ALP office to parliament – he didn’t even come through union official-dom, where he might have had some meaningful contact with ‘working families’ (sic)!

Seriously, you try having to explain the real world to a dude who thinks a fire-fighter has

“no local involvement, no local record, nothing to point to whereby they’ve engaged in the local community”

and not worrying about copping it… like when he was talking to Andrew Bolt about ISIS and basically thought to dispense with an anti-imperialist analysis and just shout

“These people need to be wiped out because what they seek to do is to wipe us and our way of life out.”

That’s a pretty scary Albo right?

Ok, maybe they just couldn’t get hold of him because he’s obviously relentlessly and tirelessly spreading his goodness across Grayndler like the principled, rabbitoh-loving, schooner-downing, larrikin terminator he sells himself as?

Maybe they were going to wait until he got more excited about the fact that Bernie Sanders actually has the most positive favourable rating of any US presidential candidate in the field and that there are votes in a socialist platform … you know, like that time a while back when I heard him say yeah-yeah-yeah equality etc but none of his gay friends want to get married so we should relax but then he’s marching in Mardi Gras shouting “it’s time for marriage equality!”… you know, for votes?

Maybe they just need to organise an intervention… just calmly point out to him that, personal opinions aside, he was a minister in a government that locked up children, stuck it to single mums, cuts billions from higher ed, the intervention… you know all that bad stuff… that he has been a key player in the party’s neoliberal degeneration and he needs to snap out of it and realise that he’s lost touch. Think about it: it took a fuck of a lot of bad stuff to get him to shed actual tears in public… but it was only about how mean the ALP was being to the ALP! What kind of weirdo does that? Someone needs to say something!

Come to think of it, maybe they just realised that old Albo is too far gone and that they, like we, should just give up on him altogether and look out for someone more in the mold of Bernie… or… EARTH TO FUCKING ALBO… Jeremy Corbyn. Because, let’s face it, Albo is certainly no Corbyn and he’s certainly no Sanders.